


Gifts

by Viridian5



Category: Weiss Kreuz
Genre: Gen, Humor, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-29
Updated: 2009-09-29
Packaged: 2017-10-02 12:26:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viridian5/pseuds/Viridian5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Schuldig is receptive to the wrong influences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gifts

**Author's Note:**

> When I got this idea I thought it would be crack, but it actually turned out surreal. Encouragement and pre-read by Rosaleendhu, and pre-read by tarot_card_.

Crawford awoke as soon as he felt a new weight settle into bed next to him. In seconds he had his gun out from under his pillow and threw himself off the side of the bed to the floor, staying down as he got a better read of the situation.

“Wow, you’re jumpy,” Schuldig said from somewhere in the darkness, though thankfully not from the bed.

Still, damn it. If Crawford hadn’t returned to consciousness so quickly would the telepath have sat there staring into the darkness near him for hours? “You better have a damned good reason for being in here.”

“I do!” Schuldig turned the light on. “Take a look at the bed.”

Crawford stood and immediately asked, “Why the hell is there a corpse on my bed? A corpse with a bag on its head?”

“This was the target you gave me. If you doubt me you can take the bag off, but his head was leaking _a lot_ and I didn’t want to drench your bed.” Schuldig looked so earnest and didn’t break eye contact even once. Barely even blinked too.

“Why did you put it in my _bed_?” If telepaths weren’t flaky as a breed he’d quickly trade Schuldig in for a new one. Schuldig himself made only a small improvement over the team’s last telepath, recently deceased.

“I’m a mighty hunter, but you doubted me. I’m providing for you, and I wanted to make sure you knew it.”

“Do you want a pat on the head for it?”

“That’d be nice.” Schuldig looked and sounded all too serious.

“You’re not getting one, but your kill is noted. Now get the hell out of my bedroom.”

Schuldig looked put out. Too bad. “Hmph.” Adding to the surreal feeling of this entire encounter, Schuldig gently headbutted Crawford’s shoulder on his way out.

Wait a minute. He yelled at the telepath’s departing back, “Learn to shield your mind better!” Schuldig only snarled in response. “And get back here and get rid of this body!”

Schuldig just ignored Crawford and slammed his bedroom door shut behind him.

In the meantime, it would be a good idea to look for an apartment that didn’t have a woman with ten cats as a neighbor. Schuldig could be enough of a pain in the ass on his own without his telepathy forcing him to get more in touch with his feline affinities. Crawford supposed he should consider himself fortunate that Schuldig hadn’t taken to leaving beheaded and/or disemboweled birds and rodents on his pillow.

Farfarello would, and he didn’t even have a telepath’s excuse. Crawford really didn’t need more of that on the team.

 

### End


End file.
